Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize