oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
