he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Randomize
