scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
