Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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