I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
