I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
