You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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