What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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