He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
