If i come over, it means nothing
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize