1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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