i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
