in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
