Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
