you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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