I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
