Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
