That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Text me some of your sweat
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
