i may or may not be watching the land before time
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
