He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
