Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize