Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think my vagina is haunted
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
