Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
