Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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