That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
