Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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