I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
