Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
