1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
