Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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