he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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