i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
