You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
