he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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