is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
