There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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