I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
