youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
