glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
