You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
