She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
