just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
