so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
