just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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