Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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