i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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