No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
