there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
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