I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
