i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
