alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize