it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
