Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
