About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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