My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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