Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I don't deserve a penis
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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