In the future we'll all be gay
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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