I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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