She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
